After the Breaking Dawn
by MaMoyo
Summary: Set after the events of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn book, Edward and Bella have now been married almost 20 years, the Cullens have moved from Forks, Nessie is no longer a child. So much has changed, for better and for worse. What happens when 'true love' meets the challenges and tests of change and time?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Bella stood looking out at a rising dawn, its warm and vivid beams streaming through tree branches and sparse but luminescent green leaves and felt the crisp greeting of yet another Alaskan morning on every inch of her glorious, glowing (and very much exposed) skin.

This had to be the thousandth sunrise that she had witnessed, in this exact state of mind and body, completely and utterly bare. Though not exactly at peace.

Should someone happen upon this little cabin of theirs, hers and Edward's, they would have mistaken her as a somewhat out of place, modern take on the goddess Persephone, mourning her lost lover in the light of yet another spring.

This would have been an incorrect assumption of course for mainly two reasons: one, she was no goddess (though some of her kind like to believe otherwise) she was, in fact, vampire. And two, her lover was not lost. Isabella Marie Cullen had her lover, her husband, her begetter, standing very discreetly no more than a foot away from behind her. And as she watched the sun rise, he watched her, only with much more reverence, and sadness.

Edward had caught Bella like this more and more often since their last visit to Forks (the destination they now found themselves packing for once again) less than a couple of months ago. Carlisle had, inevitably, had to move away from Forks to continue his life's calling of helping the ailing and dying back to health. Most of the Cullen coven had packed and moved away from the damp and rainy Forks almost 10 years ago, save Edward and Bella who had stayed so that Bella could have a little while longer with Renesmee (who just married and moved in with her 'soulmate' Jacob Black) but more importantly, to be with Charlie and her Quileute friends. Her mortal family.

Nineteen years ago, the Volturi had come in all their terrible might attempting to rip their family apart. Instead however, the Cullen family was virtually tripled in size thanks to this seeing as how it was the alliances they had had to forge with the Quileute werewolves and their strengthened friendships with Carlisle's friends (their 'witnesses'). The Quileutes most especially though, being that they were now literally the Cullens' in-laws! And if that weren't enough, Charlie had also soon begun a serious relationship with Sue Clearwater, cementing the connection between the Cullens and Quileutes further.

Certainly, many things had changed for the Cullens for the better. However, a few years following the event of the Volturi a good number of negative changes had occurred to upset the Cullen clan. One of those being the fact that Charlie Swan's health began to decline only a few short years after the Volturi came.

This is why they were now making what had to be their fourth trip back to Forks since the year before when Charlie had been rushed to hospital after suffering stroke. Edward and Bella had had to rush themselves to Forks seconds after getting off of the phone with a carefully composed but still clearly distraught Sue. And disregarding the very present risk that one of their old schoolmates would see them after almost two decades since graduating from Forks High, yet miraculously still looking not a day over 20 years old themselves…there'd certainly only be a few raised eyebrows from the rest of the town who'd hear about such an encounter. A handful of their old schoolmates returned to live in Forks after finishing their college degrees and starting their lives and new careers and some were now pushing 40, with children of their own. Meanwhile, Bella and Edward, stuck together in perpetual adolescence and conscious, always, of playing strictly by the 'rules' of the vampire world, tried to exist as inconspicuously and lawfully as was possible for a vampire. Not unlike a man on parole, immortally of-course.

This was not how it was supposed to have happened.

Edward was still standing behind Bella, having contemplated all the while his silent wife. And he was starting to feel a little intrusive. This was usually his queue to come forward and say something to his wife, like how lovely she looked in the soft yellow light of the early dawn or, if he dared, venture to ask what it was she was thinking.

Edward now remembered how after the almost-battle against the Volturi, there was a brief peace that followed, enshrouding everyone, and Bella had taken to life as a vampire with an infectious and euphoric vigour. The first couple of years, she had simply enjoyed our little miracle, Renesmee, and newly-wed life with Edward. She had continued practising and soon perfecting her shielding abilities. Initially. However, a couple years more, when Nessie had already matured to junior age and was physically as old as Edward and was mentally wise well beyond her apparent youth, it had dealt an unexpectedly profound blow to Bella. Edward had been able to tell, she had not expected motherhood to be over so soon.

This had also been the first of few more hits on her and Nessie's relationship.

Bella had found it difficult to let go so soon and figuratively stumbled her way through it. While Renesmee, trying to be generous to Bella, had slowly grown more and more impatient with her mother's constant "mollycoddling". It had taken both the Cullen's input (and Jacob's where Nessie was concerned) to diffuse the situation.

Regrettably though, not very long after Nessie's sixth birthday, when we had all been anticipating news from her about her new relationship with Jacob, she had come home, stormed into our cottage and furiously demanded the truth about who Jacob was to Bella as all eight of vampires silently looked around at each other uncomfortably. The Cullens had all been caught off guard of course (Alice's blindspots to wolves were a major inconvenience) and whilst everyone had hurried to try to reassure her that it had been nothing and nothing to be concerned about now, Emmett had tactlessly let it slip that Bella and Jacob had shared 'just the one kiss'. Nessie had not known this little piece of detail. She had quite literally dragged her mother by the hand deep into the woods for a private conversation that, upon their return, appeared to have exhausted the both of them but at least, it had seemed, the issue had been resolved.

Neither Bella nor Edward for that matter would ever declare Nessie to spoiled in any way; in fact, to everyone who ever asked they took to only ever acknowledging how sweet and loving she was and how she had often a very generous nature (this meaning that she didn't often hold grudges as well as that she literally enjoyed sharing things with people, other than just her thoughts).

But the truth of the matter was that one of Renesmee Black's distinct vices was that she was rather spoiled. She had always been lavished with affection and pretty things, never allowed more than a moment's pain or unease. She had been so closely and carefully taken care that she did not even know that life worked any other way than how she willed it. And that was all she had ever known.

So, fatefully, that day became the day that Nessie's bubble of her long-held, childish self-absoption became spoiled in itself. The revelation had been the second and biggest blight upon Bella and Renesmee's relationship. Nessie had let it go then but she was still not entirely over the fact that her husband had once loved another woman so deeply, and that the woman had been her own mother. Bella would from then on feel a great deal of guilt for the way Nessie had found out about her past relationship with Jacob and the lingering hurt and doubt the knowledge of it causes her daughter to have with her Jacob. Edward had since tried convincing both women that the past is set and they both need not let it poison the present; nevertheless, they both always insist that it's behind them.

Now, Edward was reaching his wife's side to join her in observing the woodlands beyond their quaint little cabin come alive. The cabin was not at all dissimilar to the cottage Esme had built for them back in Forks. Light warm colours that catch and reflect the light, tall windows with wide window seats to sit on. Esme always felt that, for their kind especially, it was a good for the 'soul' to be among nature, so it had become something of a signature of hers to fit large and tall windows in place of brick walls for all her projects.

"Bella love?" Edward prodded gently,

But she remained statuesque. Blankly staring onward, coldly indifferent. But Edward knew better.

"Bella," a kiss on the shoulder, "It's going to be ok. Charlie's been doing a lot better and Carlisle's optimistic there's not going to be any serious issues in the near future. Even Alice…"

She had sighed softly.

"Edward…I love you." She had stated this simply, with a slight resignation. Bella had taken to insisting on nearly monthly visits to see Charlie and despite the fact that she had not actually said so Edward knew her well enough now to know that it was because she was so afraid for Charlie. That because of Charlie living in La Push with Sue now, and the added frequency at which he is surrounded by wolves, they might miss the next incident. And she was terrified that the next, might be the last.

Turning to face her husband for the first time that morning Bella's face relaxed ever so slightly and, touching his unadorned, strong forearm, she said,

"How bout we go and see our baby." She stated with an uneasy smile.

"Just remember not to call her that to her face." Edward said, assuming his crooked smile, hoping to make her smile a bit more in earnest.

Bella let out a faintly amused little huff, before leaning her face forward to kiss Edward gently on the chest and touching his arm once more, she left him to go put some clothes on, ready for the flight back home.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A few short hours later, the couple found themselves speeding down the highway from Seattle airport. They had insisted on hiring their own car instead of having someone else go out of their way. Also, Isabella Cullen had developed a taste for the fast and furious since becoming practically indestructible. Edward and Bella Cullen were a quiet kind of couple. They enjoyed the peace of it and had always enjoyed enjoying that peace together. However, after having had Nessie, and on occasions little Claire (who was not so little anymore), along with the other members of their family often visiting and living under their roof in Forks, they had grown fairly accustomed to having at least a little noise around them. Edward had never really paid it much attention before but now, being in the small space of the car with his ever mysterious wife, he felt he would have paid anything to fill the silence that was now so dense between them it was practically a physical presence in and of itself. Edward wanted to chalk Bella's silence down to her being just her usual, introspective and quiet self. Something that, despite how much he complained about it, he also admired about her. They had been sat this way, in this pensive silence since their flight, since their whole journey in fact.

And since, Edward lamented, not for the first time, as he glanced at his love's small, porcelain hand laying limply on her lap. He wished she would just let him in, he wished he knew how to reach her when she was like this, he wished he could be sure that taking her hand in his now would be acceptable to her. Truth is, he had been forced to admit a little while ago that he didn't know his wife as well as he probably should when he realised his guesses about her emotions, her thoughts and motives, her needs at times were…incorrect. Bella was still as much an anomaly to him now as she ever had been, and it simultaneously endeared her to him and frustrated him to no end. Bella had mastered her shield now to the point where she could just as easily choose to lift the barrier as Alice could choose when to see her visions. So, he knew that right now she was deliberately not letting him see into her mind and Edward was trying to respect her privacy and apparent need to be alone.

But this was a novelty for the pair. Bella rarely ever shut him out. Or he would have been able to dazzle it out of her by now, or somebody in the family would have told him something to help him know how he could fix things. He knew she often confided in Alice and even surprisingly to Jasper as well, and with good reason. There was never anything substantial that he could pick from either of Alice or Jasper's heads unless they allowed it or slip up.

So, Edward just glanced over again at his Bella and his mind drifted. Back to the day that he would always see as the day this dark fog fell on their relationship. The day that something vital between them splintered and cracked allowing so much of their warmth to seep out into nothing.

 **2030**

 _The Cullen siblings, all six together, had decided to go hunt together for the first time since they had made the move to British Columbia. They were absorbed in a very loud game of tag atop the trees in the warm orange backlight of sunset when Bella's phone began to ring. The game slowed down some but didn't stop as she jumped to the ground, falling at least 20 feet off the branch she'd been on to take the call. They could all determine that the voice on the other side of the line was Sue Clearwater, and assumed it was news about the wolves or news about the scheduled visit from Charlie. In any case, they didn't want pry. Then, very swiftly, all sense of privacy was thrown out the window when they heard Bella's small gasp and they all started to pay attention at whatever news Sue was giving. Bella's eyes were wide, and a hand hovered at her mouth, covering it in a frozen expression of shock. She felt as though she were human again and an ice-cold bucket of water had just been dumped over her, icy streams of dread were quickly dripping down all throughout her entire being._

" _Are you at the hospital now too then?" Bella squeaked out, sounding very small as her throat constricted._

" _Yeah, I got home after the ambulance had already taken him. I'm so sorry Bella, I would've been there…I should have been home already but I was held up in the Café and…" Sue paused as someone asked her if she was the wife, "Bella, I'm sorry but I'm going to go see him now but you should know they've said he's ok right now. It was really a good thing he was able to call the ambulance when he did." Sue sounded as though she was oppressed under a large weight, holding in the tears no doubt. Edward gently slipped the phone from Bella and thanked Sue, since Bella seemed incapable of making another sound, and told her to expect them soon and they said goodbye._

 _Then, without warning, Bella took off. After a second of hesitation glancing round at each other, the rest of the Cullens promptly took off after her. Though she was no longer as fast as she had been as a fresh new-born vampire, Bella ran, ran and ran, as fast as her body would allow, flying through the trees. She ran in a clear direction, and Edward and Alice had realised immediately where she was going and knew they needed to stop her, and quickly. Bella was running back to Forks. She would reach Forks hospital easily within the next six hours or so but unfortunately, they could not allow this._

 _For a couple of reasons, one was because it was just turned January and there would be many of Forks High's class of 2010 returned home for the turn of the year; not to mention those classmates who had stayed and made their lives in the small town, and those of the township itself that still remembered the glamorous and mysterious Cullen family. It was why they had left in the first place, why they were no longer able to spend many family holidays there anymore. It had become too high a risk to stay and continue living their lives as normal (as normal as was for them). Living inconspicuously had become almost impossible in Forks after Edward Cullen married Chief Swan's daughter, and Alice had practically invited the whole town to the event. On top of that, they had little in the way of knowing for sure that the Volturi had stopped watching their every move; which brings us to the second and most important reason for the extra precautions slash paranoia. With Aro knowing how to evade Alice's 'eye' and their knowing how far Edward's gift was limited as well, the Cullens had little options left to them now to evade another incident with the self-proclaimed "enforcers". So, the Cullen clan had all agreed, not so long before this moment, to astutely follow the 'rules' of their world in a rather desperate effort to stay under the Volturi's radar. To seem like the perfect vampire citizens: discreet and submissive (at least on the surface of things). All the while, always staying vigilant._

 _So with all of this in mind, the siblings ran. Edward, being the fastest, caught up to Bella first and grabbing her from behind he lifted her straight up off of her feet, stopping her in her tracks. She did not attack or even struggle, eighteen years of practise and experience having taught her restraint, though her legs carried on trying to run making it look like she was just awkwardly kicking at the air. Bella turned her head to fix on her husband a steely look._

" _Edward let me go!" she instructed, her tone uncharacteristically authoritative._ _He didn't._

" _Bella my love, you can't. I'm so sorry. But you just can't show up there." Edward carefully said, pleading. Alice caught up with them first and said,_

" _Bella you know he's right."_

" _So I'm supposed to_ not _see my Dad Alice?" Bella snapped back, her temper starting to rise with impatience, as Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett finally joined with them in the thin little patch of trees they were stopped in._

" _No" the newcomers replied in unison,_

" _Not yet" Alice added at the same time as Edward. He could sense and feel how upset Bella was. She was shaking in his arms and still kicking at the air, this time more in effort to free herself. He thought he might lose his grip and simultaneously he feared he'd hold her too tight, even after all this time he was wary of hurting her. Almost as though he'd read his mind, Jasper aimed a strong wave of his calming influence at Bella. But she fought him._

" _Jasper! Stop it. Now!" she said impatiently, holding on to her anger. "And Edward, please will you just put me down already!" she bristled._

" _Bella," he responded, trying to sound like the voice of reason, "you can't go to Charlie right now, not yet. It's too risky. We all agreed…"_

" _Edward, it's Charlie!" she cut him off, though her tone was a little less severe; Edward suspected Jasper had just finally gotten to her, "He could have died! I have to…go…and…" as she spoke, a realisation was finally hitting her. It caused her to suddenly slump in Edward's arms. An epiphany dawned visibly on her face. Then, the panic. Icy tendrils of throat clenching panic gripped her, working their way quickly through her body until the sensation could be felt pricking in her toes. Charlie had had a stroke, Bella thought, going through every detail of her phone conversation slowly and then hearing the words bounce around like echoes in every corner of her mind. He was rushed to the hospital. He could have died. He was there, lying on a hospital bed. She imagined him, all alone…and he could've died! She'd been playing tag._

 _Jasper felt it first, like a wild gust of wind as Bella's anger flared, overpowering him and she began to struggle against Edward again, abruptly and much more ferociously than before._

" _Edward Cullen you get off me. Now! Right Now!" Bella growled, "I have to go to him. Don't you get it!" But they did get it. Each one of them. They had all known this occasion was as inevitable as time itself._

 _Bella's constant kicking, growling and struggling in all her frustration and anger trying to get free was keeping them too distracted presently to try to reason with her anymore. Bella's reignited fury had caught Edward a little off guard and neither Alice nor himself had seen the outburst coming, but he held on as best he could. He kept calling her name, begging her to 'please calm down' to no avail while Alice had jumped quickly in front of them with her arms extended towards Bella just in case, and was trying too to break through to her with her assurances that they would see Charlie soon; of course the assurances went unheard as Bella continued growling, growing more and more infuriated. Emmett and Rosalie had been standing behind their siblings, spectators to all the commotion, but as soon as Bella's anger had broken through Jasper's influence and she appeared herself to be close to breaking free of Edward, Emmett had reflexively moved closer to stand next to Edward in case a stronger set of arms were going to be necessary. Rosalie on the other hand, deciding she'd had enough of the spectacle spoke for the first time,_

" _Edward you're gonna have to carry her back to the house. We can't keep trying to discuss this out here."_

 _Grunting, "Urgh, yes, argh, thank you Rose. Very helpful." Edward was really struggling now, still fearing he would hurt Bella if he tried gripping her any harder but with his grip slipping little by little with every struggle she made he had to keep reassuring himself by chanting 'I can't hurt her now, I can't her now' in his head to remind himself she was his match now in many to reassure himself to keep up on his vice-like grip._

" _Well sorry to point out the obvious but this is a national park, we're out here in the open and way too close to the trails and you're all being_ _ **very**_ _loud." She replied scathingly, counting each point on her fingers as she made it._

" _She's just heard her father is in the hospital Rose. Charlie's had a stroke!" Alice said retorted,_

" _I heard Alice." Rosalie interjected defensively, "I'm not trying to be insensitive here ok. We need to talk about this, right? Agreed. All of us? Together? Yes. Great. But we can't call Carlisle right now because he's on call at the hospital and bringing Esme out here would be a little counterproductive since this is not exactly an ideal spot to have this discussion." Rosalie said, sarcasm dripping from every word and gesturing to the thin line of trees surrounding them that was serving as their only cover from a nearby trail._

 _This was one of the few times where Edward was loathe to admit that he agreed with Rosalie. But the fact is that he did. Rosalie was right. This was something they would need to discuss as a family, hence the current detainment of his beloved. There was a very high potential for disaster to all of the Cullen clan if they let Bella go. Edward and Alice especially hated to admit it. Charlie was Bella's dad, he was family, and also their friend. They wanted her to be able to be there for him. If Charlie recovered Bella would be there to celebrate with the whole of her family. And if he were to get worse, at least she would have the chance for something that none of them had been fortunate enough to have in the wake of their new lives._

 _Edward and Alice both looked worriedly to each other, recognising the uncertainty in each other's eyes as they shared the same simple and silent sentiment. Bella could never forgive them if she lost the chance for the latter chance with her father, forever._

 _The problem was the Volturi. Who, despite all they knew currently of the Cullen clan's past misdeeds, still did not know everything. And the Cullens swore to be damned twice over if they ever neglected for a moment to take every precaution against the Volturi finding out that Charlie Swan, yet another human, knew of the existence of vampires. And damn them thrice over if they were to ever allow another exposure to any more of the people of Forks._

 _So, no. Bella could not just up and leave for Forks, certainly not like this. And it was with all this in mind that Edward held steadfastly to his wife and ran, this time all the way back to the place they currently called home._

 _When they had reached the Victorian-style building, Emmett, Rosalie and Alice explained the situation to Esme, who had initially been appalled at the sight of her newest daughter practically being dragged inside looking incredibly undignified and vexed, growling out protests and still trying to wriggle free of her husband's arms, though with less enthusiasm. Still, the motherly woman responded to the recounts from her children none too surprised, considering. Esme tried to call Carlisle unsurprisingly without success but explained that he would likely be home in a couple more hours anyway since his shift was ending soon. Bella had by this time stopped struggling with Edward, who'd thus allowed her down on her feet but kept a firm and, he hoped, somehow still comforting hold on her shoulders, as he slowly rubbed little circle of consolation and apology into them as they all waited for Carlisle to arrive. Esme and Alice had tried talking to her, but Bella had taken on wide-eyed, faraway look that made her appear slightly dumbfounded and she didn't seem to have heard a single word of reassurance from either woman._

 _Finally, Carlisle returned. He'd walked into the living room where his family waited, and they took turns hastily running through the events of the day. When they'd finished, Carlisle walked over to Bella, a sympathetic look on his face. The new house was not as spacious as their old home and there were fewer furniture and decoration placed around this living room, complete a high ceiling typical of Victorian houses and thick mahogany door, where Bella was stood with Edward by her side. Carlisle took Bella's small hand in both of his in a consoling gesture. Bella had been mostly unresponsive to everything but as Carlisle had approached her, she'd come back to the present, focusing her devastating guise squarely on him. Edward did not doubt that had she still been human, her eyes would have glassy and swimming with tears. Her full, rosy bottom lip quivered lightly, reminding him of Renesmee when she was a young child._

 _Carlisle looked her directly in her eyes and was about to speak when Bella beat him to it,_

" _Carlisle please let me go to him." Bella whispered, meekly._

" _Of course, Bella! No-one is trying to make you stay away from your father any longer than is absolutely necessary. But we have to take precautions first." Carlisle's reply was very gentle, and full of remorse._

" _Please Carlisle? He could still be in danger and we might not have time for that while we're just standing around, discussing!" Bella said, then added as an afterthought, "Besides, I know how to stay out of the way of people now._ _I just need to go and look in to make sure he's not going to… not in danger." Bella implored. "I only need to see that Carlisle. For myself. And if he_ a _ctually seems to be recovering…" she faltered but it was more out of uncertainty. She wasn't sure she saw that there was much point in coming back to Canada if she got to Forks, she knew she was more likely to stick around. Her plan had been to go to Forks Hospital, sneak in if no one (at least anyone that she knew) was around and be with her father until he was better or until… She just couldn't shake the gnawing doubt that had started steadily eating away at her since Sue called. Though she'd been a vampire for close to two decades now it had not made her that much better at lying, and they all knew her too well. So she found she couldn't continue her sentence._

" _Bella, we all knew this day was coming and…" Carlisle started,_

" _Yes Carlisle, but now it's here and none of us were prepared…" Bella interrupted,_

" _Nevertheless Bella, we cannot all just show up in Forks without knowing exactly…" Carlisle added patiently,_

" _I'm a vampire Carlisle. Even without Alice over there with me I can just be extra careful and listen out for any people on my own. And since turning, my face and everything else was changed so much it's hard to even rec…" Bella's desperate argument was cut short as Rosalie interrupted her saying chidingly, "Not what happened last time Bella."_

" _Last time we couldn't see because Jacob was involved" Bella snapped turning a fierce eye on her sister,_

" _And you're so sure there won't be any dogs hanging around this time?" Rosalie continued ironically,_

" _That's why I'll be extra careful and avoid being with Charlie when any wolves…" Bella said impatiently,_

" _But that's just it Bella! I won't be able to know if and when the wolves will visit. And let's say the wolves are there and someone else who knew you does turn up, what will you do? Someone else needs to…" Alice reasoned but,_

" _I won't go alone then." Bella interrupted again, "Edward can come with me and keep watch for anyone I miss, we", gesturing between herself and her husband, "don't have to wait until we can all go at the same time." She turned to face Carlisle again saying, "Carlisle…"_

" _You don't need to convince anyone how urgent this is Bella, we understand. But please try to see that I can't send you to Forks just like that. We all agreed these things need to be planned for. No more risks. First of all, Alice, what outcomes can you see?"_

" _Carlisle!" Bella began to protest again but Carlisle lifted his hand and placing it softly on her shoulder to silence her and continued to look expectantly at Alice,_

" _Well, when Bella tried to make a break for it before, I saw her being reckless and jumping over roofs and running through traffic and people could see. They couldn't tell who or even what it was passing but, Bella! You're not so fast that you can become invisible! And how were you going to explain to the hospital who you are and why you looked like you'd been dragged through…"_

" _Alice." Alice had been working herself up into a tirade at Bella but Carlisle stopped her, keeping her on the task._

" _I saw," Alice exhaled, and looked Bella right in the eyes as she said, "that Charlie was going to be just fine Bella."_

" _In every eventuality of the future that I've seen so far today Bella, Charlie survives this."_

" _Well you could have said Sis!" Emmett sighed in mock-exasperation, turning a raised eyebrow at her where she stood beside Bella and Edward at the doorway, trying to ease the tension._

" _I didn't really get much of a chance to explain. Bella ran off before I could even try peeking into the future. And while we were busy chasing after you Bella, I instead saw three very concrete and distinct visions of you being spotted multiple times while on your way, and at the hospital being recognised by one of our old classmates, Alison Mazor. So, I ran with it and you know what I saw? Luckily I saw her just going around at some point to some of the other nurses asking if any of them had 'seen Bella Swan's kid. They could've been twins in high school. Jess would love this, she was right, remember at Bella and Edward's wedding…she has a teenaged lookalike daughter'. I didn't see anymore than that but…Bella, that would make the second human to notice!" Alice spoke quickly, not bothering to hold back her disappointment. Bella felt her previous frustration flare again just a little; as did Jasper which prompted him to send out subtle waves of calm around the room._

" _I'm sorry Alice. I'm sorry all of you. I was just thinking about Charlie. I haven't seen him since Christmas all that time ago. And like you said, anyone who recognised me now would just think I did get knocked up after all. I was…scared. And I panicked. I'm still scared." Bella had meant to sound genuinely apologetic, but she'd only managed to sound defensive and to Rosalie at least, it all sounded like a bunch of poor excuses._

 _As a result she replied,_

" _Bella, we all understand what it's like being in your position, truly we've all been there. But we couldn't even so much as let our parents, our siblings, our friends or anyone else from our past lives know we were still alive. Your actions would have put us all in danger, going to Forks like that, never mind just suddenly appearing out of nowhere in a public hospital with little to no explanation for anyone!" Rosalie chastised only getting interrupted by Edward's low and menacing growl rumbling from somewhere in his chest. But she was far from finished._

" _Oh please Edward! It's as much your fault as hers she reacted like that. You're most responsible of making sure she's adjusted properly into this new life and you've been failing astonishingly at almost every turn that counts." Rosalie's huge annoyance over the situation was too much for her to care about mincing words or stepping on some toes._

 _Edward hissed properly at her now and leant in ever so slightly from around Bella towards her where she lounged on the French-style sofa against the far wall opposite to him, her arms crossed and defiance rolling off of her like heatwaves,_

" _That's rich coming from you Rose. You let_ no-one _from your past life know huh?" He countered rhetorically,_

" _If you're referring to the vermin I confronted and promptly exposed of all those years ago Edward, then you're making a really bad case for yourself." Rosalie mocked._

" _Yes actually! I_ was _referring to the humans you murdered in cold blood not too long ago." Edward retorted, angering Rosalie even further,_

" _You may not care that your wife was literally about to out herself and by extension the rest of this family to what was probably going to be a whole load of people out there, but I do! We are the Cullens and pretty much the whole damn vampire universe knows it. What any one of us does, especially now, will definitely find its way onto the record of excuses the Volturi are still, no doubt, compiling about us. And amazing as it sounds, you…" Rosalie's voice, which had been rising in volume, was swiftly halted by Esme._

" _Enough!" she demanded sternly, "That's quite enough Rose." Rosalie shot her an affronted scowl but, obediently, quit her verbal lashing. Esme got up from the other end of the sofa beside Rosalie to stand in front of Bella, who now had a shell-shocked expression from the dispute she'd incited between her new family. This was not necessarily a new dynamic she was witnessing between everyone but it unsettled her realising that she was once again the cause of all the conflict (though she still felt it justified this time)._

 _Esme took her place with Carlisle in-front of Bella and looked her indulgently in her eyes,_

" _Bella dear we don't want to keep you here, away from Charlie. Believe me we're concerned for him as well. What Rose was trying to say was that we understand better than you know how you must be feeling. But Bella, you must see. If you were_ seen _again, as you are, it would raise questions and it really risks both you and Edward, and all the rest of us too. We're responsible for each other. And that certainly is how the Volturi would look at it. We love Charlie too, believe me. But I don't think the we'll be as lucky if we have to have another 'trial' from the Volturi."_

" _I know Esme, and I_ am _sorry. I know we can't afford another slip up but, believe me, I was still thinking about all of you too. If something were to have happened or someone asked me questions …I would have taken the right precautions myself. I was prepared." Bella pushed calmly but stubbornly._

" _No Bella. You wouldn't have." Alice piped in sadly, "If you had just waited to at least talk to me I could have told you how many ways your 'plans' were not going to be sufficient. Whatever 'precautions' you'd planned, it wasn't really going to be enough from what I saw." Alice was as gentle as she was brutally honest but Bella was still too emotional to think on their words of reproach with much earnestness._

" _So tell me what to do Alice? And please tell me everything I need to know now because I am not staying here another minute longer than necessary." Bella said with resolve; though deep down she was already starting to feel conflicted. She could see the sense of waiting and planning out their routes and movements as far as was possible, considering. However, despite their reassurances, Bella wasn't sure she had enough patience to wait longer than the night._

" _For God's sake." Rosalie muttered in exclamation,_

" _What now Rose?" Bella bristled, spinning a glare in her direction._

" _So, you're saying you don't really even care what we decide?" Rosalie asked, sounding like she knew the answer already. "So if we say none of us can show up at Forks yet?" She paused dramatically, looking around as if she were searching the walls for an answer and then focusing her gaze on Bella._

" _You're gonna just…what? Go anyway? Way to be a team player Bella." Rosalie said, "Bet you hadn't even bothered to think about how far your actions would roll over everyone. How your stupidity would cost, for example, Nessie!"_

 _Rosalie did not smile as she finally came to the end of this tirade. However, her smug triumph was thinly veiled in her tone when she spoke Nessie's name._

" _How'd you figure that Rose! I'm going to see Charlie. Not Nessie." Bella shot back, snarling angrily._

" _Obviously, not intentionally or directly!" Rosalie drawled, her irritation saturated in each word, heavily implying the 'you idiot' exclamation. "It's like you've heard nothing! Think! If you expose yourself this time, and let's say it gets to the Volturi somehow, do you really expect that she'd be exempted from whatever 'punishment' the Volturi decides is fit for us? Nessie might be living with the wolves now, but do you honestly think the Volturi would just give her a pass? That they won't decide to go after every single one of the Cullens? And while they're at it, they could just as easily decide to dust off the extended family too while they're here. I'd bet Caius is just begging for a shot at the…what did he call them again…'pet dogs'." She continued, feigning innocence._

 _Ashamed, Bella realised for the first time that she hadn't really thought about Nessie. Not that she'd forgotten she had a daughter or that she would likely run into her at the hospital with Charlie. No, Bella was ashamed that she hadn't been the one to think about this potential repercussion. Of course, Renesmee was at this point a grown and married woman and had been so for a number of years. Half the time she was surrounded by the_

 _band of massive canines there in La Push, who'd literally made it their job to protect her and others like her. Not to mention, Renesmee had grown to be indestructible and quite formidable person herself; thanks mostly to Jasper._

 _But what kind of mother just disregards, so thoughtlessly, the impacts of their actions on their child? Bella thought. Wasn't it her job to protect her child? Always? Now, as she thought about it, she felt the cold ripple of dread run through her entire body as she recalled fateful day so many years ago when Alice had 'left' after telling them that the Volturi were coming. Even back then it hadn't taken much to get the Volturi to come after them, just the whisper that the Cullens had done something. And they'd descended. They had brought their entire entourage, ready to witness the destruction her whole family right then and there._

 _What would it take now? Bella wondered. Would they even bother with keeping up appearances like last time? With keeping any of them for themselves. What about their family in La Push? The vampire's "natural enemy" Caius had called them. Who they stop at? Who would be there to stop them? She wondered if there would even be enough time to gather everyone again and who would come for them after all this time? Bella hoped two decades was really no time at all to older vampires._

 _Rosalie had continued her rant as Bella's epiphany came to an end, sobering her, "We talked and talked about this Bella and we all decided. We cannot give the Volturi or anyone else for that matter, cause to talk any more about 'the Cullens'. Any one of us it may be. Two years ago, we got lucky that incident didn't go any further than it did, but now it's like you want to try your bad luck out. Maybe you don't care about how your actions will put the rest of us at risk, again, but I'm sure you care enough where Ness is concerned."_

 _Bella's thoughts were now mostly in disarray as she fought with herself. She looked round to Edward - the first time since they'd gotten home - who had been looking unwaveringly at the floor with a look that very poorly hid his resentment at Rosalie's words. Though he'd remained quiet for the most part. Bella noticed his fingers hung stiffly at his sides, pressing into his thighs as if he were steadying himself. Bella noticed that he'd said nothing in her defence against Rosalie, not this time. So, sighing, she relented finally. She still felt the stifling pull to run to Charlie, but sense told her she had to wait._

" _OK Rose, I think you've made your point," Carlisle said quietly, looking at Bella's wilted profile. "So, when is it safe for Bella to leave Alice, tonight?"_

 _Bella took a slow look at the people around the room, at her adopted family, taking time to silently plead with each individual with her eyes in a final effort. But finding she was met with nothing more than different, brilliant amber pairs of eyes expressing similar emotions. Tenderness, apology, consolidation, encouragement, doggedness, remorse and shame. Whatever the expression, clearly, no one was on her side on this vote._

 _The last gaze had belonged to her husband. Edward had looked guiltily back to the floor, his shameful expression returning to a resentful one as he did. It was as clear on his face as if she were reading his mind. Bella turned her gaze away to the floor too as she felt her eyes prick with tears that can never flow, feeling…alone…truly alone for the first time in her new immortal life. And something more that she couldn't immediately place._

 _Quickly, Bella recognised the emotion and, quick as a heartbeat, buried it. She dared peek a glance in her periphery to her left to look up at Edward. She could only make out the underside profile of his chiselled chin as he looked ahead out the tall glass doors serving as a wall behind the sofa in-front of them. Apparently intent on something. Bella felt the guilt more than the relief of not being discovered, filling her up like a dense mist; heavy and suffocating._

Back in the present, as Edward remembered this not so long-ago scene, Bella also was lost in thought thinking about more immediate things. She found it was much easier to keep a blank and deceptively stony-faced expression as a vampire and was doubly grateful for her silent mind. She was comforted by the fact that she had her husband there beside her and was grateful to him for his patience through all the turmoil. But she really wished he would just stop _watching_ her!

Looking out into the familiar forests of Forks as they drove Bella felt horribly sentimental. The wall of green she had once thought abhorrent, with the green, green moss covering everything in sight, intense shades of green leaves and growth with only specks of browns and oranges here and there, the moist look of it all and the fresh musk of damp ground lingering in the air around them promising still more rain. Now however, now she found herself trying to commit all of it, every single shade and shadow, to memory. All of it so precious to her now she felt an unbearable melancholy just to think that someday in her vast future she'd forgot this place. Not in its entirety, just little details like the smell of rain, of moss. In hindsight Bella was feeling like she had wasted too much time being repulsed by the outdoors, albeit because it presented a plethora of potential hazards for her while human and for fear of other monsters lurking around as a vampire. Nevertheless, she was coming to realize that she had let herself miss out on so much. Looking out now she saw the world of opportunities that had been right in front of her. The scent of the damp woods and the smell of rain, Bella could envision never-were days of her younger self splashing up muddy puddles all over herself and Charlie at home. The light that was able to break through the density of the trees made her remember sunny days in Forks that might have been spent colouring or painting, trying to capture each and every hue of green, but were in reality just her imaginings. Many of the few childhood memories Bella had had before her transformation into a vampire felt now more like faraway dreams; some, she was sure, were so buried somewhere deep in her mind that she couldn't access them and so, forgotten, and so as good as never happened.

Over the years, Bella and her father spent more time together than they ever had before, making up for lost time. They would go together to family dinners, bonfires, barbeques. Making something of a family tradition as father and daughter never to exclude each other at family events, firstly because there weren't very many in the first place, but most importantly, because their lives had become so diverged that would it be so easy now to fall into neglecting one another. One day, Charlie had gotten up to go fishing while Bella and Ness had come visiting and he invited them to come along. Charlie had been so surprised and so happy to find that among all the things that had changed about Bella, her shut-in days were becoming more and more a thing of the past and she accepted his invitation to go fishing for the first time in his life. Since then Bella went fishing with Charlie at least once every visit, usually taking Nessie along. Bella and her father would sometimes just sit back and let Ness play around in the water, scaring away fish - at times catching them with her bare hands to the astonished delight of her grandfather. For hours Nessie would swim around Chief Swan's small fishing boat giggling and splashing happily as child would and Charlie would make their usual small talk, catching up, relaxing in the typical cloudy sunshine of Forks. It too had become something of new tradition for them. After her and Nessie had started growing apart, it had been more of one-on-one thing between herself and Charlie or Charlie and Ness; mainly to avoid awkwardness.

Now, Bella wished that she had not been so cowardly to face Nessie's forward nature ( a trait she picked up from her aunt Rose) that she wilfully sacrificed the finite time she had to make more of those memories with her father and her daughter, the three Swans…Chief Swan and his girls. Because of the three of them, Charlie was the one fast approaching his time while Bella and Renesmee would live forever. And the previous year's stroke that Charlie had suffered had brought so much back into perspective for Bella.

Bella felt tears choking her throat and stinging in her eyes. Naturally, no drop of moisture followed. Her outward appearance stayed just as stoic as ever. Bella had learned to not show the extent of whatever pain she was in front of Edward long before marrying him. It was admittedly ridiculous of her, caging it all in this way. But, as experience has taught her, her husband did not handle her pain well. She was certain that if Edward were aware how hard all of this had become for her then he would be just as miserable as she has been all year. Bella was also afraid he might tell her I told you so. Not in so many words of course, never so crass. But his reassurance of 'It's ok, I know' or 'It gets easier Bella I promise, you're never alone just remember that'… to Bella it all just sounded like 'We've all had to say goodbye too Bella' and rather than inciting the intended solidarity, it made Bella feel like she was…weak…like she should be stronger than this. Strong like they all were. Not that Edward would even hold it against her. Ever the chivalrous gentleman, Bella knew Edward enough to know that he would only try to shoulder all the blame for her missing her human life every now and again, especially since it is more so now. Bella didn't think she could let him know about all these recent regrets because it would more likely only cause Edward to think that she regrets becoming a vampire. Which Bella was pretty sure wasn't the case! Bella had done this to herself. She regretted nothing of their time together, their marriage and family. Her love and life with Edward has been the stuff of storybooks. The very same kind of romance she had idolised growing up. However, knowing all of this did not stop her grieving for the girl she once was. It was rather irrational but there it was. Bella loved many things about her new life, but somewhere along the way, she did not know when exactly, but somewhere, she had gained a new appreciation for what she had been. And as soon as the majority of the distractions in their lives, like the wolves, like Renesmee, like the Volturi, melted away with the passing of the years Bella had been finally able to reflect, to really look back at her life. There was no specific moment that came to mind, but Bella remembers the steady, creeping awareness coming on little by little. At first she took it as perhaps being the fact that her baby girl was a woman before her time and was married and moved in with Jacob within just a short decade…or it had started earlier when she and Edward had finally and permanently moved away from Forks to be with the rest of the clan…she couldn't tell.

Soon, Edward and Isabella Cullen were almost finished with their car journey to the old Cullen home. The house looked just as pristine and unaffected as the day the couple had packed-up their lives and finally left it behind. There was no part of this whole town that didn't hold some kind of memory for her. As it was, Bella's mind kept snapping back into the past to memories of her and the Cullens rushing to whisk her quickly away from Forks and the danger that had stalked them. She remembered the day she had allowed them all to call a vote on her humanity and so much more.

Edward had broken her train of thought. They were only making this stop to leave their bags and he had left to put them inside. Bella felt, again, the sense of gratitude and relief of having him near her. As well as, oddly, a strange sort of tiredness. Edward took her left hand and lightly kissed her ring before giving her an encouraging smile and starting back onto the winding road out of the Cullen's old driveway to head off to La Push.

 **Writer's note:**

 **Hello there Readers, thank you for reading and I hope you are enjoying the story so far. I am sorry this has been so late; I'd been hoping to post new chapters every year or so but… c'est la vie!**

 **This is my first story ever so I expect that I will receive a few pointers from people…in fact I would appreciate some. I planned for only 6 chapters for this as a short story but there may be more because there are some ideas that I keep flip-flopping on. I am still working at it.**

 **In terms of the story:**

 **I want to say that I only realised that Bella was born in the late 80s after I started writing, and originally planned this story using the timelines of the movies. So, I can't and won't change it now as it would throw the rest of the story's timeline too much if I tried to change it now and make things too confusing. So, for this fanfic (which takes place 19 years after the Volturi) Bella was born in 1990, Bella moved to Forks in 2008, graduates in 2010 and was turned in 2011. The Volturi 'trial' happened in 2012; so the present-day year of the story is 2031. The years are really only important so that you can all follow and place the events of the story chronologically and in the order that they happen as we go along (you could still pretend it all follows the proper timeline from the books or even pretend this takes place in the year 3000 – it won't really affect the story because I'm not adding any sci-fi or political or postapocalyptic futuristic elements to this ;D). I just thought I'd clear this up if anyone was getting confused about Bella's class having graduated in 2010 etc when the book's timeline says she was class of 2006 and born 1987 etc.**

 **Catch you on the flipside!**


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